Posts Tagged ‘Masculinity’

A Personal View of Femininity

30. June 2017

“If the truth is a cruel mistress then a lie must be a nice girl. And so kindness itself is a lie.”

– Wataru Watari, Oregairu

“And yet who can fail to feel a sort of pleasure in seeing that fraud, feminine delicacy, exploded for once?” – George Orwell, Politics vs. Literature – An examination of Gulliver’s travels

The character traits most closely associated with femininity are kindness and empathy although the latter does not necessarily imply the former. After all, empathy is necessary to practice targeted cruelty to inflict the maximum amount of pain.

I often hear online about how feminists attack masculinity on the basis of it being toxic but despite this in effect women have adopted the same ideals and value systems of men while those of men have by and large remained the same. Is there such a thing as feminity in such an environment anymore? I think there is. In an earlier post where  I laid down my thoughts on masculinity, I said that I don’t think that masculinity is much of a way to differentiate men from women as much as it is a way to tell apart the men from the boys. The reason that I said this is that many traits which are considered to be masculine are also found in women and obviously traits like kindness and empathy are also found in men (and also not found in some women). What purpose does femininity serve then? To differentiate the girls from the women? Partly.

Are femininity and masculinity supposed to complement each other? Yes, but I see it more as something that happens within the mind of an individual and not necessarily between a man and a woman. One may be more one or the other but then what warrants the use of a gendered term like femininity then? Couldn’t kindness and empathy just be called kindness and empathy and not be associated with a specific gender? I think the answer to that is found in the way that courting works but it may lie elsewhere I don’t really care, the point I have been working up to is that femininity is fraudulent because its primary component, kindness is fraudulent.

“Our consciences take NO notice of pain inflicted upon others until it reaches a point where it gives pain to US. In ALL cases without exception we are absolutely indifferent to another person’s pain until his sufferings make us uncomfortable.” – Mark Twain, What is Man?



On an unrelated note I found this interesting discussion about anime backgrounds on youtube. Some of you may find it interesting, some of you may not. It discusses some of the history and changes in the way anime backgrounds are made and some of the types of anime backgrounds and goes a bit into how they are made too. I find discussions like these interesting but I often feel that they are not enough.


A Personal View of Masculinity

28. June 2017

I would say that a fairly conventional list of the minimum requirements to be a man presented to boys would consist of the following:

  • Financial Independence
  • Strength and Courage
  • Wit and Humour
  • Intelligence (Wit and humour serve to show some degree of intelligence)
  • A Competitive Edge. An ‘I will be the best at this thing’ attitude.

Masculinity is flexible, as long as the basic criteria are fulfilled a man can be good or he may be evil but he still is a man.  These attributes may be found in many women too and the reason for this is that masculinity isn’t much of a way to differentiate men from women as much as to tell apart the men from the boys. In effect, this differentiation is not so different to the distinction between a child and an adult but the differences which warrant a gendered term are in the details.

At its most fundamental level, the differences stem from the generalised experience of male to female courting. Just as the male gaze brings out certain behaviours in women so do the generalised preferences of women, for lack of a better term, the female gaze, define and select for what the characteristics of masculinity are. Of course, men may then impose such characteristics on each other but the contribution of each gender to its formation is unquantifiable so I suppose it is safer to say that society as a whole is responsible for it.

The two most common criticisms levied against masculinity is that it promotes violence and aggressiveness towards others and that it causes repression of feelings in men. To the first two which are essentially one I have to say that in some instances violence and aggressiveness are in fact desirable and the capability for violence especially in men must not be demonized, in fact being incapable of violence is not a virtue in itself, having the capability to overpower others and yet also the restraint not to exercise it irresponsibly is a virtue, therefore the lower rate of violence in women is not necessarily a virtue either. The bottom line is that men are not broken women.

The repression caused by masculine ideals is a product of how men generally prefer to deal with problems in a practical manner, that is to say that men generally see no practical utility in sharing their feelings with others profusely, of course they are human and may speak to other men or to some of their friends usually while engaging in some sort of activity predominantly practiced by men, like I don’t know playing some violent video-games or whatnot but in any case an approach focusing more on the practical problems of men (like say unemployment) rather than their feelings is more likely to yield results. At any rate, it would work better to try nothing than trying to emasculate men for sharing or for not sharing what’s wrong with them, if they feel like it then they will share what they feel if not then let it be and seek another avenue to try to help them if that is what one really wants to do.

The one criticism I will accept about masculinity tentatively is that it stifles individuality to an extent by pushing an ideal onto him, by discouraging some behaviours and promoting others, but who finds every human behaviour to be acceptable? Well, anyone who doesn’t is in effect pushing an ideal onto others and stifling individuality.


22. May 2017

[The Question Answered]
What is it men in women do require?
The lineaments of gratified desire.
What is it women do in men require?
The lineaments of gratified desire. – Willaim Blake, Several Questions Answered

The relationship between men and women cannot be reduced to a simple antagonism obviously. It is true that we are all pushing our ideals on others and that’s fine to an extent after all we are the ones who have to live with and look at one another. Let me put it bluntly to the MGTOW crowd, what women desire in you is most likely what you desire in yourself. I don’t see a conflict of interest there. I don’t think that the MGTOW ideology has a positive effect on behaviour. I can understand that there are certain injustices in the family court system that ought to be corrected and that things like boys education in the west need to be reformed, however, these societal problems are hardly a reason to cast all women as hypergamous treacherous opportunists. All human beings act out of self-interest to an extent, that’s a given, for men and women, they are not saints. I am not deaf to the bitter men on MGTOW forums with their personal stories of being betrayed and humiliated by women – by their girlfriends, wives, mothers and by the women who they fancied, I am sure it hurts, however let me ask you this, in an ideal world in which going your own way was not necessary what would women be like? Would they be saints? Saints who would never betray you and who would never hurt you or stop loving you? If you look closely enough your desires are not that different from those of women.

I am tired of the ‘nice guy’ stereotype being plastered all over any debate people have with you, but keep in mind that just like you can’t help applying the standards you do on women nor can women help it. Any and every kind of discrimination is present and allowable during mate selection after all if you take away the right of others to discriminate who they want to have a romance with then on what grounds can you discriminate on what kind of partner you want? A solution to this can be found in Aldous Huxley’s Brave New World where it is very impolite not to have sex with anyone who asks you to, but given the largely conservative underpinnings of the MGTOW movement I doubt that that would be palatable to you, and even if I am wrong such a thing is not possible yet.

To elaborate more on my point that ‘women desire in you is what you desire in yourself’ lets look at the most common accusation levied against women by MGTOW, that of hypergamy, now it is true that roughly speaking human females mate across and up dominance hierarchies. But let me ask you this, if it weren’t for women would you really want to be at the bottom of as many dominance hierarchies as you could?Obviously not, therefore there is no conflict of interest hereas far as mate selection is concerned but then what about after a couple has been formed and the girl runs off to another man with a deeper pocket purely because of his status? Well, then you have my full endorsement in evaluating her as a gold-digging whore. Now, onto my next point, actually it’s more of a complaint – I really don’t like the language used by MGTOW and for that matter the pickup artist community, talking about ‘alpha male’ ‘beta male’ and so on. Human behaviour outside of high school is a bit more complex than that (for one because there are many more dominance hierarchies to consider). But let’s set aside my amateur sociology before I make a fool of myself, if it’s not too late for that.

I don’t really really think I can convince you to stop being a MGTOW, I just hope this was an interesting read. But hey, girls are not that bad. They are just as bad as we are. Oops I hope I didn’t offend a feminist there. And remember try to treat people as individuals in your personal lives, give them the benefit of the doubt, they might just turn out not to be arseholes, in politics, ah, it’s hard.